My basket’s all empty
I’d filled it with memories
But now it is empty, they’re gone
I’d left it all open
I think they got stolen
So I need to make some new ones
Oh
I want to be hopeful
I want to be kind
I want to get out of
My sad little mind
I’m trying my hardest
I want to be found
I think I’ll stay afloat
But what if I drown?
My basket’s all ready
To be filled up anew
I am still waiting,
I don’t know, for whom
Oh
I want to be hopeful
I want to be kind
I want to get out of
My sad little mind
I grasp at the breeze
For bubbles to pop
I’m thankful for heartbeats
Which did not stop
I stand with my basket
I stand here alone
I am not empty
I will soon go home
Yes I will make memories
I will find friends
I will smell roses
And happiness
I will come back once
I’m empty again
I’ll sing my sad song
And rest in my pain
Goodbye, passer-by
You have been kind
You listened to my song
I’d lost my mind
Maybe another day
I’ll run into you
For now, I’m happy
I wish you are, too!
Violent colours dancing on your face
I watch from afar
I look away
Violent colours stabbing my heart
The leaves are swaying
Hair strands gripped on to your sweaty face
I remember your anecdotes
I remember you doted on me
I remember it all
How did I have no eyes back then?
The poets and singers lament my foolishness
He is standing next to you
My stomach is upset with rage
As he removes the silk strands from your face
I mourn our days
Sunlight leaking through leaves
My once-negligent heart now twisting and turning
Oh what I wouldn’t give now
To have it all back
I look at my palms and I look at your face
You and your new friend begin to move away
I am empty with a shell for a heart,
Cursing myself for letting you go
Wondering about how could I not know
I cannot bear staying apart.
Give me a cushion, I’ll lay your head.
You think you’re useless, but I’m not dead
I’ll hammer in some sense, my God,
You’re a fucking treasure!
I love your work, your art, your thoughts
Your pain and your pleasure
Cry all you want, here, take some ice-cream
You can, always, come crying to me
I’ll tell you some new jokes for myself to laugh at
So you’d smile too; for me that’s enough, and
I love you like family, my friend,
You say you love me too
We’re fucking amazing
At most things we do!
Or maybe just some things, who cares, right?
Let’s listen to some music and we’ll be just fine.
There’s more than what meets the eye
Didn't you say, you were mine?
The clock will strike twelve, where will you go then?
In the dark, I will not look for you anymore
I have never looked for anything but my reflection
My yellowing pages are all about me
I can let go of new chapters
I can let go of pages before they decay
I will not ask you to stay
Forever is too long, the ink will dry out
The clock strikes twelve, almost
It’s time to turn into our ghosts
There was more than what met the eye
No matter,
I am great at goodbyes.
I imagine the sun settingflowingdropping into the crease of buildings
A mellow skyline, pink and rose and yellow and blushing
I imagine everyday beauty
I am inside a small room and I never go out.
My house is only two storeys high
My ambition no higher
I crave the softness that comes with smallness
All I taste is the gap I never even dream to remove someday
I often wonder what other dots in the web are doing
It glitches my mind and I get disconnected
I bet it’s beautiful outside
Even the high-rise residents can’t jog at their beautified parks
I wrap my arm around my pillow
Take a deep breath
I am herenowalwaysforever
I pick a movie to watch
The deadlines can wait
The dead lines aren’t waiting
They’re piling up at riverbanks
I’m still at home playingwatchingignoring a movie
I’m too afraid to murmur a premature thanks
I stare at the ceiling
My spotify is wailing
The only thing moving is the fan.
I make fun of his love
And his cheesy 2 a.m. poetry
He's chased her for six long years
And it doesn't make any sense to me
I say, I might be dead in six years
How did your love not die?
He says, he needed the six years
To be able to survive his life
That she reminded him of soft sunsets:
I reminded him, she was cold
He insists on her rosy pictures.
Oh, love and its blindfolds...
I laugh but he knows I'm crying
How does it feel to be loved? I ask
I wish I'd caused six moments of longing
At least six seconds, perhaps
I remember those who said they liked me
After six minutes of mindless chats
I remember being amused and flattered
But never moved by any of that
I never felt connected, I tell him
He asks me if I felt stuck
Yes, I didn't feel loved, I say,
In any case, not loved enough
I suppose it's just me, I finally say,
But I think it's too soon to conclude
He says he'll chase money now
Chasing love is of no use
We bond over our lovesick hearts
Our fragile little friendship starts
As we wait six years, both of us
To woo or to be wooed.
My silences are sprinting
They're so many, at once
There's a pimple on my wooden face
Waiting to be burst
But the silences come first
They threaten me with an explosion
I can already smell ashes
Grey, spotty, flaky, and choking
A ruined world remaking
No I'm not romanticizing
Someone else's war
All my problems are mine, okay?
My jarred edges
Reek of stale cynicism
My unlit mind
Damp and resistant to hope
I try to look like I care
Resharing brutal news
Replaying the victims' tears
I mimic activism
Lying passive in my bed of privilege
Unremarkable in my performative concern
As I think to myself
The world will always stretch, tear and burn
I am throwing my words around
Because I like their gibberish sounds
They're hurdles for the silent beams
That are racing towards me
And I don't want to be found.
How many arms did I touch
And flinched away
Before the blink of an eye?
How many words did I miss
To mouth into a phrase
To greet a passer-by?
How many smiles did I keep
Chained into coldness
Instead of laughing wide?
And more importantly,
Why?
Why is it that I look back now
Recalling names who could've been friends
Heaping on sighs as the hours go by,
Why is it that I know I'll drown
Making the same mistakes again and again
Knowing I'll never be able to try
Am I dooming myself to loneliness?
I wonder what's the worse case-
Feeling lonely in a crowd
Or lonely enough by oneself?
“Take off my glasses My eyes will hold your gaze We both know it’s been ages But it’s not about the days That are gone; it’s only about you, About us, and your shy confidence, My bewilderment at your beauty, My love for you, which had no ends But which carried on in sorrow – I have loved you still, as I did Yesterday, and will, tomorrow.”
Once I thought I’d tell you this (Years later, when we meet again) When I’d known you’d never be mine And wrote these verses in my pain.
Do you remember me, as I remember you? However, I won’t pretend, I know it’s not true- I remember only what I thought you were, My infatuating dream, The boy with sharp eyes and untidy hair- You were more than him.
You had your flaws and a snobbish air But of course I didn’t care You talked to me once and I flew high I never even questioned why- You were the supreme, You were my dream.
I know you’re not the dream I built You’re just some pretty guy who’s smart But what you made me feel sometime Is what told me I had a heart.
I wink at my own God I tell her it’s a secret between us That no one should know
Wherever I go I’m a cool atheist, a staunch one I “agree to disagree” With silky smiles reflecting politeness I’m against the riot of religions And the proofless existence of Divinity one worships
Wherever I come from I’m a defiant daughter Disagreeing with my family Trying to laugh away my father’s anger My mother’s sullen look They think I’m naive now, One day I’ll understand One day, I’ll conform
And when I’m home within myself On a day when I’m battered By everything that can go wrong I laugh at my God Tell her it’s a lie “Save me but I don’t believe you exist”
What is God, except The last trick up my sleeve? How do I furtively rely On something I don’t believe?
mimimusing 