I imagine the sun settingflowingdropping into the crease of buildings
A mellow skyline, pink and rose and yellow and blushing
I imagine everyday beauty
I am inside a small room and I never go out.
My house is only two storeys high
My ambition no higher
I crave the softness that comes with smallness
All I taste is the gap I never even dream to remove someday
I often wonder what other dots in the web are doing
It glitches my mind and I get disconnected
I bet it’s beautiful outside
Even the high-rise residents can’t jog at their beautified parks
I wrap my arm around my pillow
Take a deep breath
I am herenowalwaysforever
I pick a movie to watch
The deadlines can wait
The dead lines aren’t waiting
They’re piling up at riverbanks
I’m still at home playingwatchingignoring a movie
I’m too afraid to murmur a premature thanks
I stare at the ceiling
My spotify is wailing
The only thing moving is the fan.
The streets are empty and the sunny bricks of red call me home I find myself in a saree Rabindrasangeet playing on a loudspeaker Bhalobeshe shokhi nibhrito jotone Amar naam ti likho Tomar monero mondire.
“Write my name with tender love In the secret chambers Of your heart, my friend.” But the city is empty Who do I call my own? I rummage through the sheaves of paper in my hand There are so many letters No one to give them to.
I scatter them as I go And I write a poem on the envelopes Each telling them I’m sorry I could not exist in my role.
The singing voice stops The street is empty of sound too The letters are but scraps of paper Words melted into dust.
I empty myself in the deserted street The standstill hour of the sunny day Reduced to one long moment I cry without tears.
The city is still picture perfect Beautiful in its sepia ruins I close my eyes for a moment Rest at somebody’s doorstep.
After a long moment again I open the envelop of skin Renewing my vision The night has creeped in And it’s still a deserted city
I see shadows in each corner Nostalgia of the souls who left I try to communicate but they are gone. I vaguely remember for a moment that I’ll come back again here tomorrow; Before I can be certain, The sun rises
I return with a stack of letters A ear for music A soul of yearning And I come home.
mimimusing 