By 9 pm I decided never to write
Of what I feel
Isn't it too common?
Feeling poetry?
What could I write about?
Heartbreaks, lost hopes,
The bright side of dark jokes;
The persistent disappointment by men.
Oh no I'm back again
Writing about commonplace woes
In commonplace tongue
I keep writing what I feel
Should I write about what I've done?
Nothing there. Empty.
Recoiling into spirals again
Stop. Set free. If only we could help it.
(The permanent disappointment
Of the self.)
It's way past 12,
Midnight sleeps with me
Tell me something so I don't have to write.
Tell me something,
Quickly.
I must spend the night
Tomorrow I'll wake up, I promise
And I'll write about new things to think
Tonight let me be all about
My metaphored sorrows
Translucent smiles
The gaps left behind in unspoken goodbyes
And such things that flow rivers down my eyes
Such things I carry in my small womanly pocket.
I worry I cannot see beyond what's right in front of my gaze
I worry I see and I know so little
My words are bound to fail
I rhyme, and I know they don't aid memory
Only makes my voice forced
I can't do away with it, where will my words go?
Scatter, yes, they will.
Every day I scatter them
Every day I open my mouth
I do not wish to speak
On my writing table I sit to seek
Meanings.
I cook my words to flavour them
Add endings and beginnings.
Yet I get lost, so often
Did I just burn the dish?
Oh the stench is so rotten
I can do better.
Or so I'd like to think.
She called me pretty so I had to confess
That I am not smart
She decided I am smart so I said
It doesn't matter
I am not ambitious
She said I must be, why else was I worried?
And I didn't know where to go.
If I can't fix my hair
Constantly
What will I do?
What will I do?
She has moved on to much better fodder
Coffee table conversation
Our friends are discussing important things.
I am inside my head, I can hear the clock,
Ticking
Slowly, but fast as soon as I stop thinking about it
My friends around me don't seem to care.
I sit with them but I'm not really there
So I look at my phone.
And I've been here before.
A kind word from a stranger
And she cries like a baby.
She'd chewed her heart and spat it out
Many moons ago, when she did not know her name
Unseen, unheard, unknown, unloved
She could have run away.
A little lady, a wholesome man
Or some teenage lovebirds holding hands
And she cries like a baby
How did a heart grow again?
Days peel off smoothly enough
She smiles at unimportant joys
I marvel at her maddening beauty
She charms me with her muslin voice
I take her hand,
I plant a kiss, gently
She cries like a baby
And I find my heart again
We water our hearts reborn, soaking in the purest rain.
Walk with me, till the end of time.
A drunk guy sings aloud before us
We laugh, is he in love or in pain?
And we answer, aren't they the same?
The river flows swiftly along our path
The moon is his bride
We write poems for each other
And recite every line
Like a pleasure torn from a deathbed
Our love is precious
So are we, bathed in glee
We tie our hearts tight, brimming in smiles
We have never been so free
We're so beautiful, how we've grown
I fill my eyes with what I see,
(I can never get enough
We're never too much, in love)
Billboards glow afar in the city,
They try to sell us happiness
I point out all the spelling mistakes I see
As usual
You laugh and roll your eyes,
As usual
I love the joy we make
We don't need to say what we feel
Our hearts are clocked alike
We can read each beat, in sync.
I don't love you
I think about you all the time
And in all my dreams you're never mine.
Go away, and never come back.
Until my tears exhaust themselves you make me cry
What was in your skin when your palm brushed mine?
Every second I know you
Every second I've known you
I'm made aware of this lack
You know, right?
You know my heart is water, it cannot hold?
Or do you think it's frozen
Icy and cold, to your touch?
I wonder, how do you get me so attached,
Dropping in my mind every time I sneak out the door?
You've ruined me enough
Not anymore.
Go away, never come back
I'm removing your cobweb words
Erasing all our tracks
In another life we might fit like a glove
Not this time. Not this love.
I don't love you, not enough.
Green waves dilute and deepen in the front yard I like the assortment of plants
I joke, will you skip me like a YouTube ad? We chuckle. I'm funny, we agree She says she'll miss me And I will But I reassure, it's just a new year Sadly(?), not a new me
I can go on about the book I'm reading She calls me a beautiful kid I smile, knowing she's lonely I keep taking advantage of it
There's nothing new about something new There's nothing new to feel I enjoy the chant of daily TV There's nothing new I want to be.
Before the month end meets another mouth
Speak the unspoken
The sky was too blue so I couldn’t say it
And you didn’t mean it
What’s the difference between see you
And goodbye?
I hugged a sweater and curled up in it
Some warmths are trees, deciduous
If their arms contract some day, they spring back
Outstretched
Loves that might wane but never disappear
If nothing, you can always plant dreams
Evergreen, forever blooming
Enough with nature and its metaphors
You must be bored
Like I am.
I’m catching up with my words
Before the month end meets another mouth
And they spill over, too soonWe like to repeat ourselves, after all
My city has no snowflakes so I make do with tears
I gulp down the past because the month will end
The year too, so funny.
Nights crawl around me, begging me in hushed tones
Join the end, it is near
The future is too far away!
But I know it’s only the cold
I shut my eyes and scold them to sleep
Achieving peace needs such violence, so funny.
At dawn I’m up again chiming words
Dragging the end of a chewing gum until it’s dry
And there are no tears to gulp down
Only white, fresh snowflakes around the bright greentree
Pink flowers
Joy
Inside my dream garden
I know even you are tempted to join me
We will wave farewell soon
To meet new ends which must begin
Should I say goodbye
Or
...until we meet again?
As the nights grow cold I plunge myself into my narcissistic depths It's easier than losing grip on my heart And giving it to you I love myself harder to unsee your longing for me I relish my pain and pleasure of solitude Face to face with a mirror, I shine. But over my shoulder you stand tall With a hole in your heart so big it daunts me With a love so desperate I cower like a coward I am too small for you My kisses cannot fix your eyebrows bent in gloom So I unsee you I unfeel your shadow resting on my back I unknow you and focus on myself Narcissism, my shield of arms, Covers my lonely heart as the nights grow cold I stifle tears, I watch you go.
I think I am happy, I wrote some new songs.
I love the sunsets, and where I come from,
There is much beauty but there is more evil
It hurts to look, and when you do see them
You blame all mankind, you refuse to exist
You can’t solve a thing, not those you wished
Your friends might still love you
Wrap you with smiles
But so many unhappy,
The disparity in lives-
But I think I’m happy. I just wrote some songs
I know I can’t really right all the wrongs
I’m glad for friendships, for family as well
We live in our fights and the cold war spells
Let’s have some chocolates. You want some tea?
I think I am happy, and I want you to be
Glad that you met me, glad that you’re here
Tapping on the moment, spreading some cheer
I’m glad to have met you; I’ll write you a song
I’m starting a journey, friend. Won’t you come along?
“Take off my glasses My eyes will hold your gaze We both know it’s been ages But it’s not about the days That are gone; it’s only about you, About us, and your shy confidence, My bewilderment at your beauty, My love for you, which had no ends But which carried on in sorrow – I have loved you still, as I did Yesterday, and will, tomorrow.”
Once I thought I’d tell you this (Years later, when we meet again) When I’d known you’d never be mine And wrote these verses in my pain.
Do you remember me, as I remember you? However, I won’t pretend, I know it’s not true- I remember only what I thought you were, My infatuating dream, The boy with sharp eyes and untidy hair- You were more than him.
You had your flaws and a snobbish air But of course I didn’t care You talked to me once and I flew high I never even questioned why- You were the supreme, You were my dream.
I know you’re not the dream I built You’re just some pretty guy who’s smart But what you made me feel sometime Is what told me I had a heart.
mimimusing 