As the nights grow cold I plunge myself into my narcissistic depths It's easier than losing grip on my heart And giving it to you I love myself harder to unsee your longing for me I relish my pain and pleasure of solitude Face to face with a mirror, I shine. But over my shoulder you stand tall With a hole in your heart so big it daunts me With a love so desperate I cower like a coward I am too small for you My kisses cannot fix your eyebrows bent in gloom So I unsee you I unfeel your shadow resting on my back I unknow you and focus on myself Narcissism, my shield of arms, Covers my lonely heart as the nights grow cold I stifle tears, I watch you go.
Hibiscus. His name plays in my mouth My arms lie locked with his, We’re fighting
Hibiscus Anything to draw him in… I throw my glances- One at him and the next at the sea, Wait for a moment While I stare at another man
Hibiscus My cheeks are volcanic I can sense that you want me Hibiscus- Why are you running? To her?- who thinks I am just a boy A long lost friend-turned-rival-turned… Hibiscus!
Why can’t I be Patroclus? I’d die for you Without an epic to sing of my name Hibiscus, I will be yours Will you tell sunset about me?
Or will we be dried flowers Within yellow pages of our book The words never spoken aloud? Hibiscus, I want to be found.
I remember an evening when my feet kissed the damp soil
My long dark hair flowing down in glossy coils
The earth being passed on to summer from spring
Aroma of baby mangoes and the cuckoos’ calling
A garland of fresh white jasmines pinned to my hair
A trail of the scent followed me everywhere.
I carried a large book in my arms
It told me tales of uncountable charms;
In our garden I spent my evening
Reading about kingdoms and kings
Time stopped yet flew as ever.
Each moment I delightfully savoured.
I imagined myself trapped, like the princess
In the tower, the damsel in distress,
I could almost see my prince slay the beast
The story ended with our wedding feast.
I remember the evening when I closed my book of tales
And returned to my dingy room, untidy and stale
Maa and Baba raising their voices across the thin walls
Happily ever after, I knew, was false
Maa chided me for reading fairy tales
She said it was time for me to read something else
After all I was a girl growing up
And dreaming was indeed not enough.
I put away the book one day
To ground myself in reality.
Days and years and lives have passed
I wonder if I did grow up.
I say I don’t believe in fate
But deep inside I think I may
I’ll tell no one, but I think I’ll wait
For my saviour, my soulmate.
1 It’s a valley of baby-pink bougainvilleas We’re little girls spreading our little wings Running after each other Colourman O Colourman, which colour do you choose? I choose you, perhaps I whisper to myself, I will always choose you. Our love will blossom as we hold our hands Ring a ring o’ roses My rosy cheeks, your dusky grin Aren’t we the best? I’ll go after you, run, run It’s a valley of red roses I’ve plucked all the thorns, Love will come to you Like a soft petal closing your eyelids Love will come to us We will be the queens of the world We need no one Aren’t we the best? As the branches grow pink, I blush too I love you, I love you.
2 The earth smells like you I run my fingers through the leaves of the potted plant There are no flowers today, You were running your fingers through the sand There were no seashells that day You were smiling as ever, The sunlight gliding off your skin like oil I tied my heart to the waves of your hair The waves made me fall on your shoulder in a giant splash I didn’t need the sea to fall for you, but I wonder Who did you fall for? I called you a mermaid and you braided my hair with flowers I called you a fairy Your laughter still ringing in my ears It has been years. I found a tiny bud in the plant A single dewdrop on it Perhaps that rolled down my cheek. The earth smells like you today But I couldn’t be the plant Rooted in you. Some dreams, or most, don’t come true.
mimimusing 