As the nights grow cold I plunge myself into my narcissistic depths It's easier than losing grip on my heart And giving it to you I love myself harder to unsee your longing for me I relish my pain and pleasure of solitude Face to face with a mirror, I shine. But over my shoulder you stand tall With a hole in your heart so big it daunts me With a love so desperate I cower like a coward I am too small for you My kisses cannot fix your eyebrows bent in gloom So I unsee you I unfeel your shadow resting on my back I unknow you and focus on myself Narcissism, my shield of arms, Covers my lonely heart as the nights grow cold I stifle tears, I watch you go.
The wind whispers in my ear It knocks against my window The trees nod in agreement
I keep to myself
The sun shines warm and red Blows me a kiss Before it’s about to set I sweat and I glow
I keep to myself
The neighborhood bursts into sounds Everyday noises turning to music The birds, the leaves Clinking of utensils I hum my favourite tunes
I keep to myself
The world moves and dances in my heart I cannot keep to myself You are moving and dancing in my heart I cannot keep to myself I will reach you As you have reached me I will love you As you have loved me
We will keep to ourselves
We’ll weave a little tale for us Or write a whole omnibus
When the summer is over
I will be dying
I'm ready to be her
And I'll take a new name
I want to break off
But I'm still tied
I'm trying to be special
But I'm just an image
Of her
I am a princess
You wanted a queen
My wings are stunted
My attempts, too weak
Will you give me the time to grow
Or will I write poems, with nowhere to go?
I'm singing in the shower
Waiting for the hours
To pass me by
I would've brought you flowers
If this love had been ours
But you're not mine.
Oh,
And I don't know what to say
You're gonna fade away
So soon,
So soon
I'll love you anyway
But you're not here to stay
My moon,
My moon...
Tell me why I cried for your arms
Tell me why I'm begging for your love
Tell me how I'll live a broken life
Tell me how the hours will pass me by
Without you,
Without you.
I'm still singing in the shower
My breath turning sour
This love couldn't be ours,
And that is life.
Rants for my lover,
For an afternoon in summer:
I want to live a happy life
I don’t want to be only crying
I want to be yours, I wanna be mine
I want flowers, and your time
I want me to be worth your while
I want to succeed, I wanna try
I want this and I want that.
I love you to the moon and back.
In a sunlit sky, your rainbow eyes
Take me to ancient gardens
I was born in your hair, and the gods stood there
I turned your life into madness
No scriptures, no songs, no story of us
We were soon forgotten
A goddess birthing a mortal being
A scandal, and a problem
You worked alone, you fought for me
The sun slept and you toiled
I cried in my crib, my tears shining
Lit by the midnight oil.
I hold your hands, I want that strength
That fed me, clad me, soothed my cries
I’m basking in your luminescence,
Your goddess-esque motherly smile.
To all mothers with absent help
With babies a bit different,
To all goddesses outcast, but strong
I offer you my little song.
Violent colours dancing on your face
I watch from afar
I look away
Violent colours stabbing my heart
The leaves are swaying
Hair strands gripped on to your sweaty face
I remember your anecdotes
I remember you doted on me
I remember it all
How did I have no eyes back then?
The poets and singers lament my foolishness
He is standing next to you
My stomach is upset with rage
As he removes the silk strands from your face
I mourn our days
Sunlight leaking through leaves
My once-negligent heart now twisting and turning
Oh what I wouldn’t give now
To have it all back
I look at my palms and I look at your face
You and your new friend begin to move away
I am empty with a shell for a heart,
Cursing myself for letting you go
Wondering about how could I not know
I cannot bear staying apart.
Give me a cushion, I’ll lay your head.
You think you’re useless, but I’m not dead
I’ll hammer in some sense, my God,
You’re a fucking treasure!
I love your work, your art, your thoughts
Your pain and your pleasure
Cry all you want, here, take some ice-cream
You can, always, come crying to me
I’ll tell you some new jokes for myself to laugh at
So you’d smile too; for me that’s enough, and
I love you like family, my friend,
You say you love me too
We’re fucking amazing
At most things we do!
Or maybe just some things, who cares, right?
Let’s listen to some music and we’ll be just fine.
There’s more than what meets the eye
Didn't you say, you were mine?
The clock will strike twelve, where will you go then?
In the dark, I will not look for you anymore
I have never looked for anything but my reflection
My yellowing pages are all about me
I can let go of new chapters
I can let go of pages before they decay
I will not ask you to stay
Forever is too long, the ink will dry out
The clock strikes twelve, almost
It’s time to turn into our ghosts
There was more than what met the eye
No matter,
I am great at goodbyes.
The screen flashes into ecstatic noises
I throw a pillow to suffocate it and it groans
It’s a new smartphone, but no wonder not wise
Did he say yes, or no?
The notifications lie stagnant under the pillow
My heart’s beating loud and I’m warm
So is my phone
Under the pillow it waits for my expectant palm
I can’t bear to take it out but I stare at it
My entire room throbbing in anticipation
Even the lizard on the wall pauses to take a look
And I start to lose all my patience
Yes, yes! He likes me too
Oh, to be online and in love!
I kiss the screen
And start typing
It’s virtual, but real enough.
mimimusing 