Welcome to my land It's pretty Beautiful with shades of wealth There is nothing wanted/ Missing We're thriving in the pink of health Altercations, rumours, riots- Crafted by the Enemy states; We are happy, we are booming There is no need To dissent. No need to protest Systemic blows No need to ask for Employment No need to question GDP No need to push Our government For we are happy We are rising More than ever (Fresh statistics) We only need to Close our eyes And be a bit Optimistic.
My aloneness is an island Walls so high that a tsunami can't break it down My aloneness is naked I keep trying to clothe myself in strangers' words But my skeletoned yearning is exposed and loud It's battering my brain I am back this time again My aloneness is punching me to a pulp I have no memories to eat I am hungry and in need I think I'm going to throw up.
It was a large house
Airy, marbled, and windowed colourfully,
With gaudy furniture reeking of dowry;
It was a large house
Ornamental, but not beautiful,
Spacious and narrow-minded.
“Here is my living room, Vaani
The curtains are lavender for you
Take care of them, love,
This city is a den of pollution”,
He shakes his head;
“That is our bedroom, and I must say
Your parents bought a nice king-sized,”
And he flashes a slick smile;
“Those two rooms are
For our first and second sons,
They will be fair and beautiful,
Just like you,” he grins,
“You look even more lovely
When you blush”
“Where’s the kitchen?”
“Why the hurry? Here it is
That’s the room you’ll spend your life in
Because, frankly speaking, I can only make tea.”
I'm seeping into the soil My sky is green with the foliage of life The lack-forest of the city I have left behind So I lie on the ground My eyes closed, I am looking for the primeval scent No more the sooty smoke Of a fast-paced world I crave the forest so I paint it Green, dark, and thick with wisdom My skin settling into the earth Starts to tingle The beasts arrive with hungry jaws; Abiding by the forest's laws They jump to devour my flesh My end is dancing before my eyes In this forest of my making Perils of civilization Are nothing but wolves, Tigers, lions, and the like I feel better to give in to them Than to those of my own kind, And I meet my fate In the forest in my mind.
I don't need to touch you To feel your golden glow I don't need to kiss your lips To drown in a warm rain Being with you is all I ask for When the summer sun hits your face You battle the oppressive heat With warmth that is kind My anger at myself subsides When I look into your sky wide eyes I am no longer scathing hot No longer irate at myself Hotness burns but you melt me You soften me into a lover And I become forever yours Forever warm And never sore.
I'm stretching my smile to cover my face I'm blinking too, to punctuate your gaze I'm learning to stay and not say no Because I've learnt that I can't go Not when death is alive and cold Uninvited guest at our doors I will stay and learn your steps You will stay and hold my waist Us against the world, so naive; We kiss and love and stay alive.
Wear a brown shirt for me I'll find a white flower for you With petals broad enough for me to scribble "I love you" In black ink Or maybe with some kohl. Will you let me put some under your eyes? Put the flower in your chest pocket You've always loved lilies, I know, And flash a smile at me So that I can call you my Textbook of love. Remember that tattered book With brown cover Short stories and poems inside English Reader Class IX? No, I didn't know you then. I didn't know what love was But I knew what it might be. Early butterflies in my belly For a boy I sat beside And this one poem in that one brown book. "If thou must love me, let it be for nought Except for love's sake only." Now you, you, yes, you My book of poetry, My song of love, I love you for love's sake only. You are the textbook definition And I can read between your lines This book can have a miserable ending It can break my heart into bloody shreds But I'll read it again and again My brown textbook man Look at me with your smudgy kohl eyes Consume me in your gaze Devour me in your lines While the music keeps playing And the evening is bashful I want to be a verse in your pages While the fan whirls in this room And the curtains bathe in dusky gold I want to curl up inside your stanzas We'll stay as one until words fall apart Until it's too dark to read Until the end of poetry.
How many arms did I touch And flinched away Before the blink of an eye? How many words did I miss To mouth into a phrase To greet a passer-by? How many smiles did I keep Chained into coldness Instead of laughing wide? And more importantly, Why? Why is it that I look back now Recalling names who could've been friends Heaping on sighs as the hours go by, Why is it that I know I'll drown Making the same mistakes again and again Knowing I'll never be able to try Am I dooming myself to loneliness? I wonder what's the worse case- Feeling lonely in a crowd Or lonely enough by oneself?
“Take off my glasses
My eyes will hold your gaze
We both know it’s been ages
But it’s not about the days
That are gone; it’s only about you,
About us, and your shy confidence,
My bewilderment at your beauty,
My love for you, which had no ends
But which carried on in sorrow –
I have loved you still, as I did
Yesterday, and will, tomorrow.”
Once I thought I’d tell you this
(Years later, when we meet again)
When I’d known you’d never be mine
And wrote these verses in my pain.
Do you remember me, as I remember you?
However, I won’t pretend, I know it’s not true-
I remember only what I thought you were,
My infatuating dream,
The boy with sharp eyes and untidy hair-
You were more than him.
You had your flaws and a snobbish air
But of course I didn’t care
You talked to me once and I flew high
I never even questioned why-
You were the supreme,
You were my dream.
I know you’re not the dream I built
You’re just some pretty guy who’s smart
But what you made me feel sometime
Is what told me I had a heart.
I wink at my own God
I tell her it’s a secret between us
That no one should know
Wherever I go
I’m a cool atheist, a staunch one
I “agree to disagree”
With silky smiles reflecting politeness
I’m against the riot of religions
And the proofless existence of
Divinity one worships
Wherever I come from
I’m a defiant daughter
Disagreeing with my family
Trying to laugh away my father’s anger
My mother’s sullen look
They think I’m naive now,
One day I’ll understand
One day, I’ll conform
And when I’m home within myself
On a day when I’m battered
By everything that can go wrong
I laugh at my God
Tell her it’s a lie
“Save me but I don’t believe you exist”
What is God, except
The last trick up my sleeve?
How do I furtively rely
On something I don’t believe?
