Tag: emotions

Small talk

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“How was your day?”
.
.
In the mornings
When my mother starts her day in the kitchen
And my father looks for the newspaper
All I want is an excuse.

An excuse to pause the day, even before it has begun.

“Halt!” I say to Mr.Time.
Mr.Time wears a suit and a tie
With glasses as thick as icecubes
Perched on his rigid nose.
He slaps me hard and shouts like a war general
“Yes,Sir!”
I come back to my senses.

The day goes on and on and on
Like a thriller movie in slow motion,
Devoid of background music.
Deja vu
Every moment a facsimile of some other one.

There’s a cadence to monotony
If you have the ear for it.
Sometimes I do, don’t you too?

Before long, I get lost
In other worlds freshly manufactured
Where facts don’t matter,
Mr.Time is banned,
And I am free.

But I’m no God, no Creator Almighty
My thinly framed bubbles of thoughts
Fade away like half-remembered memories
Oh so quickly
Poof! And I’m back again.
Nothing makes sense yet, but at least
I’m back to my senses.

Ringing voices vibrate in my ears
Boys grinning with their mouths wide open
Girls leaning onto each other
Tearing up into giggles.
The dusky sky and the dazzling streetlights
Coexist with different ideals of beauty
I keep my eyes open
For every sight.

We call it a day.
I make my peace with Mr.Time
He smiles at me like a benevolent captor
I smile back.
.
.
“My day was great, how was yours?”

Lose yourself

ahonarc1 Comment 
 Lose yourself
 To the winding roads under the foggy skies
 Where the mountain kisses the sun,
 The trees flirt with the wind
 And the pebbles fall in love with the flowers
 Not to be loved in return;
  
 Lose yourself
 To the city
 And it’s overlapping streets, lanes, alleys
 Houses cuddling together
 Bricks and cement infused in love
 Slender skyscrapers trying to be mountains
 But never stealing a kiss from the sun
 As the pollution brews smoke in the sky;
  
 Lose yourself 
 To the pages
 That can take you anywhere
 Anytime
 Where you become the lover and the beloved
 The hero and the villain
 Where you can live a thousand lives
 By a magic called language;
  
 Lose yourself
 To music
 Where you can feel a thousand emotions
 And know how the pebble felt when the daisy died in its arms
 Or how a hero dreams
 A villain lives
 A lover cries
 A human feels;
  
 Lose yourself
 To me
 Or I’m afraid
 I’ll lose myself
 To you.

Musings and mood swings

ahonarc

A sleepless night.
Shiny, shy sparkles (let’s call them stars) hide behind the raging smog,
A sky as grey as the railway platform with nowhere to go but stare at the ever-running trains
My city’s clarity matches my mind’s.

“Would he/she/they really care if I were gone?”
Blink once, twice, thrice
Over and over again
I make my eyelids droopy with repititive restlessness
But can’t get rid of the pain.

My body refuses to shut the windows to my soul, it seems
My heavy eyes are wide open
To let in all my doubts-
They’re guests after all (or maybe they are the residents)
And my mind is many things
But not an impolite host.

I try to conjure up some tears,
Scanning my memories-
Strange places,
Familiar hands in strange places,
Strange coldness in familiar souls.
Alas
Sorrow is too pure an emotion.
Disappointment suits a cynic better
And I am (often) sure I am one.

Dry eyes, a dry soul, a dry sense of humour
I’m not out of place in my own self, at least.
That’s a relief.
Speaking of relief, I finally realise what I really want to ask

“Would I care if I were gone?”

“Would I be… relieved?”

Maybe some other time,
Some other day,
I will ask a complete stranger
“How did you know I’m broken?”
And nod along with empty eyes to whatever he thinks the reason is;
Or maybe I’ll read a bestselling self-help book
Absorb it for a day
And decide not to be broken;

Or maybe I will go back to bleak attempts at sub-par poetry
Maybe you will read it too
And the desire to die (or the indifference to death, life and everything in between)
Will be reduced to a mere poetic theme
Just like love, war and other things.