Trust me,
I do laugh and wail and wet my sorrows
To gulp them down
Or look blankly,
Like an old woman who doesn't get the joke
And doesn't care
When they make fun of things that aren't funny.
I berate myself, I am not radical enough
My days are spent hiding my soft teeth
You can't wring me out of my burrow
Not today,
Perhaps never.
I will light a cigarette tonight,
Smoke it alone, and unusually;
It is going to be a long night
Hiding and hibernating
My breaths will be my only friends
For now.