I diversify my distractions until the newspaper ink bleeds into my hair
Seeps into my scalp
Dirty with unwashed exhaustion and dry with flakes.
I paint my ugliness to fill my cup of musing
It's your memory again I'm using tonight
You faceless shape of a girl.
I chase your unwritten rules,
On my toes I arch my back
My fingers crack too loud
Failures are always blasting inside my nerves
Can't you hear? The noise? The crunching chewing of bones?
Your desires, material
My lamp, burning,
I must learn everything and impress the crowd.
It's your ambition I am diving into
And it's your self-doubt, too
On a morning some day my ears will flush with joy
No more of those arid shrieks of despair
On that morning I will rise
In your image
Give back to the world what I want to
Resplendent and solid like a rock.