I take a tender piece of art
And eat it
Stubborn chewing until it's all inside me
Broken down and easy
Until I let it consume me
And I am no longer a woman who cannot feel.
Sometimes I want to switch off the lights too early
At other times the urge to wake up an old woman
Who has lived a life
Years of deep, devoted caring
And cared for
Is so strong that I remind myself my grandmother's bones are as hollow
As her heart is full.
If only I could give away my love freely
Like a brilliant sunflower I know
If only I didn't need to be loved back completely
Precisely
If not more,
But I am younger than I feel and these years will have to be lived in
Before they become a strong house of hardened bricks
And weathered door-hinges.
To love and be loved has to be taught and learned
I am no sunflower
I shy away from gold.
On days that autopilot removes all warmth
I bide my time until
A sweet bite of two lovers embracing 
Or an old man and his cat
And I am flushed again with my mortal joy
To feel.